It's Scorpio season, baby. And as we emerge from a season of cosmic craziness, I have to ask:
How is your descent into the Underworld going?
I've been thinking a lot about the tale of Persephone, who descended into the underworld and became its queen, forever moving between the darkness below and the light above.
I love the idea (present in myths around the world), that we contain both versions of ourselves: light and dark. And that learning to travel between them is part of becoming whole and experiencing our full aliveness.
This season has forced me to look at some of my own dark shit for sure. Things that, now that I've seen them, I can't unsee.
My selfishness. My meanness. My possessiveness and greed.
There is something deeply uncomfortable about not only looking at but also being able to hold the parts of yourself that you know are ugly. I'd much rather pretend they don't exist.
My marriage is still recovering from some of the damage these shadow sides of myself have caused. A big part of my work has meant bravely facing these shadow parts. My selfish parts. My mean parts. The parts capable of hurting someone I love so deeply.
It's so tempting to look at these parts of myself as strangers. Or someone I used to be. Someone I've outgrown.
But the uncomfortable truth is that they're still here. They are me.
How do I hold these parts with compassion while taking responsibility for the harm they've caused? How do I make room for them without letting them run the show so they don’t come out sideways like a child seeking negative attention when it can’t get what it needs?
In this shadow work, I've also become more curious about the other creatures living in my darkness.
With a new lover, I've been exploring the parts of myself that find pleasure in humiliation, filth, greed, possession. Discovering how different it feels to invite those desires into a space of consent and curiosity rather than shame.
I am letting my shadow self play.
I am seeing what happens when I give these parts of myself somewhere to run wild, somewhere they can be enjoyed rather than feared.
What if some of the very things that have caused harm in one context could become sources of pleasure in another?
And can I let myself fully enjoy the aliveness of this connection without needing to control it? Knowing that something beautiful and transformative can move through me, change me, and, as all things do, eventually die?
Persephone doesn't get stuck in the underworld. She moves between.
And maybe that's what becoming whole asks of us. To recognize our darkness, accept it, forgive it, take responsibility for it, and even learn to love it. To get curious about its antics instead of spending our lives trying to exile it.
What if we gave ourselves permission to enjoy some of the things that scare us? To find pleasure in the parts of ourselves we've been taught to hide?
I wonder how much more of our divine nature, our eroticism, our capacity for aliveness, becomes available when we stop fighting so hard against the fullness of life and of who we are.
Shadow and light. Pain and pleasure. Life and death. We contain all of it.
This is the erotic practice of aliveness. Being honest about what's there, allowing ourselves to feel it, and trusting that we can move through it.
The next time you find yourself wanting to run from a feeling or suppress a desire — practice building capacity.
Whether it's something painful, something so good it scares you, a shadow-self moment, or an overwhelming need for control, get curious about what's happening inside you. Notice where it lives in your body. Give yourself permission to feel it without immediately needing to explain it, fix it, or make it go away.
Can you accept all parts of yourself and integrate the lessons this journey through the underworld has to offer?
The only way out is through.
Want some support getting to know, embracing, and integrating your shadow side? Book a Quick Chat with me here and let's talk it out.
Have a shadowy fantasy you'd love to see brought to life? Feed it to my Human Smut Generator
Want regular inspiration to keep your imagination alive? Join the Erotic Imagination Club
Check out all my offerings here.
Written by Bree aka Bae Leche, intimacy and relationship coach at Bae Leche Coaching. I help people explore dating, desire, and relationships with more curiosity and confidence.